I'm Not the Only One
by Marie161294
Summary: Eren doesn't want to believe the worst in Levi, but the truth can't be avoided.
1. Chapter 1

**_You and me, we made a vow  
For better or for worse  
I can't believe you let me down  
But the proof's in a way it hurts_**

I didn't want to believe it. I couldn't make myself believe it. Every time I did, my breath would catch in my throat and my vision would blur with unshed tears. My heart felt like it would be ripped out of my chest and stomped on. But I had to face the facts. I had to believe that the person I had loved for all these years was leaving me behind.

It had started as nothing but a one night stand. He was one of Jean's friends. One I had never met. That was surprising in itself since Jean never left our group unless Marco was involved. Jean was hosting one of his legendary house parties. His parent's were loaded and were hardly ever home. Jean took every opportunity he could to throw wild parties. I shouldn't have gone. If I had stayed home with Mikasa, I wouldn't have my heart broken now, but I hated being told what to do. So I ended up at Jean's house and then ended up in bed with a hot, short stranger.

Said stranger ended up becoming one of my best friends. He was different than most people you would meet. His bluntness was something I got used to fast. I appreciated it. There were no lies, no sugarcoated words. He was truthful to me and wasn't afraid to call me out on my stupid ways. Before I could help it, I fell for him. Most people would say we rushed things. Getting married at twenty was frowned upon by most. I was to drunk in love to care.

 ** _For months on end I've had my doubts  
Denying every tear  
I wish this would be over now  
But I know that I still need you here_**

We had been married for two years when it started. Levi would text me, telling me that he would be coming home late from work. I didn't think much about it. Working at minimum wage while renting an apartment, called for overtime. I couldn't even count how many times I would work more hours than I was scheduled just to be able to put food on the table. So when he started coming home way past his scheduled end time, warning flags didn't pop up.

The late night shifts became more frequent. Three months passed before I got fed up with it. We've fought before but not like that.

 ** _You say I'm crazy  
'Cause you don't think I know what you've done  
But when you call me baby  
I know I'm not the only one_**

 _"I'm just tired of you coming home at all hours of the night."_

 _"It's none of your damn business Eren. I'm working and I'm not having this discussion anymore." Levi snapped. His grey eyes glared at me from across the room. I sighed before giving up. A single thought filled my mind and I couldn't stop from letting it slip from my lips._

 _"Are you…Is there…Is there someone else…" I didn't want to look up at him. I refused to look into the grey eyes I had fallen for, but I did. Bad idea. He looked at me like I was crazy. Like I was stupid for even thinking such a thing, but in his eyes was sadness and regret. I learned all too fast that the only way to read my husband was by watching his eyes. He was an expert at keeping up the mask of indifference, but he could never hide his emotions._

 _"Eren…" He took my hands in his. "Baby, I would never hurt you like that. Why would you even think that? I love you. No one else. Only you. And you are an idiot if you think I would ever cheat on you."_

I wanted to believe that he wouldn't hurt me, that I eventually let it slip my mind. His late nights stopped for a while after that. He would come home and everything went back to how it was. It was nice while it lasted.

 ** _You've been so unavailable  
Now sadly I know why  
Your heart is unobtainable  
Even though Lord knows you kept mine_**

Everything was fine for six months. I let myself forget the sliver of doubt in my head. That was until he started coming home late again, except it was worse now. He would come home and not even acknowledge that I was there. If I tried to talk he would cut me down with a glare. The love that had once filled those gray eyes was replaced with annoyance. When I tried to get close he would pull away. He wouldn't let me touch him in anyway, no kisses, no hugs, not even a comforting touch.

 ** _I have loved you for many years_** ** _  
_** ** _Maybe I am just not enough_** ** _  
_** ** _You've made me realize my deepest fear_** ** _  
_** ** _By lying and tearing us up_**

Our three year anniversary was fast approaching, but I couldn't bring myself to care. I loved him. I always had and I always will. There won't be a day that I'll go without wishing things were different. I started being insecure in everything I did. I couldn't look myself in the mirror without feeling disgusted. Once upon a time I had been something that Levi could love. Now, I was nothing. Something had gone wrong and now I was nothing but a waste of space. I was nothing to the man I loved with my whole being and It hurt.

I wanted to confirm my suspicions, so I went to the store Levi worked at. When I look back, I wish I hadn't. Blonde hair, muscles, and the size of Captain America, that's what I would never be. I was never enough for him. I fled the scene as fast as I could.

 ** _You say I'm crazy_** ** _  
_** ** _'Cause you don't think I know what you've done_** ** _  
_** ** _But when you call me baby_** ** _  
_** ** _I know I'm not the only one_** ** _  
_** ** _I know I'm not the only one_** ** _  
_** ** _I know I'm not the only one_** ** _  
_** ** _And I know, and I know, and I know, and I know, and I know, and I know, know_** ** _  
_** ** _I know I'm not the only one_**

So here I was, drinking away the pain in my heart. I still didn't want to believe what I had seen with my own eyes. It shattered my heart every time I thought about the way Levi had smiled up at the taller man. The way that smile stayed on his beautiful face as they kissed. I didn't want to think. So I took another drink of the almost empty whisky bottle. That's how he found me, sitting on the living room floor, whisky bottle at my lips as I took another swig. He took a step towards me, concern in those beautiful eyes, eyes that reminded me of a perfect storm. Eyes that I would never trust again, no matter how hard I tried.

"Eren…What's wrong." His voice always made me melt, but it only brought rage now. He reached out to grab my hand, but I pulled away.

"Don't touch me. Don't fucking touch me." The pain I felt in my heart was pushed aside as the anger set in. I stood up as best as I could, the alcohol in my system making me unstable on my feet.

"What the fuck Eren?" He made to help me but I pushed him away.

"I said don't touch me!" I glared at him and he stepped back. Hurt crossed his features before he composed himself again. I let a bitter laugh escape my mouth as I pushed past the man I once loved. "Don't pretend you care. I know you've been fucking that blond bastard. Don't pretend you fucking care about me." I stumbled up to our room. He didn't follow. I knew he wouldn't. I threw some clothes in a bag, texting Mikasa to meet me down the street. I couldn't wait for her in this apartment. The place I called home was nothing but a lie now. I felt none of the warmth it usually comforted me with. I made my way downstairs. Levi was still standing in the stop I had left him. I shook my head and with one last burst of rage, took the wedding ring, I had cherished all this time, off. I threw it over at him, ignoring the look of pain that made its way into his eyes. With one last look at Levi, I left the place I once called home.


	2. Chapter 2

We both said some things we didn't mean

We took our cheap shots, didn't we?

You grabbed your coat and keys and said

"I think I need to leave right now"

In the dark, nothing but a streetlamp to light the room, I sit on the floor next to where Eren was minutes ago. I reach for the whisky bottle, only to realize it's already been emptied by the one I love. The one I'll most likely never win back. "Fuck!" in a fit of rage, I toss the bottle at the wall, watching it shatter just like my heart. Just like Eren's heart. I ran a hand through my hair, pulling at the longer strands, hoping it'll wake me from the nightmare I walked into. I should have never let Erwin get so close. I felt nothing but hate at the blonde, but it wasn't as much as the hate I felt towards myself. Eren had been my everything, and I had fucked it up. I couldn't even come up with a good reason to why I did what I did. The attraction to Erwin was only physical and I should have fought against it. I was weak and with that weakness, came the destruction of my marriage. Everyone had told us that we were too young. No one believed we would make it, and I just showed everyone that they were right. I didn't even notice when I started crying, but as soon as I did, I started sobbing. My eyes flickered to the gold wedding band lying on the floor, the light from outside reflecting off the still perfect band. My body moved on its own accord and grabbed the ring from its resting place. I couldn't keep myself up any longer and lay down on the floor. Dirt and germs were the last thing on my mind. I just wanted my Eren back.

I still love you, darling

With every inch of my heart

Even when I don't want to,

I still love you

I still love you.

It had been a week. One week, but it felt like forever. The bed I had been laying in all week became too big. Nights became colder without being wrapped in the arms of my beautiful angel. After Eren left, it had taken me hours to get up and clean the mess I had made. Cleaning up glass had evolved into cleaning every inch of the apartment. As soon as I had nothing left to clean, I laid in bed, hugging Eren's pillow close. I'm pretty sure I hadn't moved from the spot all week, and that's how Isabel found me. She took one look at my pathetic figure and sighed. I closed my eyes and inhaled the fading scent of my lover. The bed shifted as the redhead pulled me up from my pity party and all but pushed me into the shower. I didn't bother to listen to what she was saying. I looked in the mirror, only to cringe at what I saw. My raven colored locks were sticking up in all directions. My gray eyes were dull and lifeless. Not to mention they were framed with dark spots from where I hadn't slept. I turned away and quickly got in the shower.

"Where are we going brat?"

"It's a surprise." The brunet smiled as his eyes glistened with excitement. My heart melted and I couldn't help the smile that had made its way onto my lips. I let him lead me to a hill in the middle of Shiganshin, in the middle of the night. A single tree grew at the top. He laid down on the grass and laughed as I looked at him in disgust. Laying in dirt was not something I was comfortable with. He shook his head and pulled his sweater off, laying it on the grass next to him. "Come on Levi." I knew I was fucked when his eyes got wider and his lips turned into a pout. Eren's puppy dog eyes were something no one on planet earth could deny. I sighed and laid down next to him, careful to keep my head on the sweater. He smiled again and grabbed my hand. I watched him and his gaze lifted up to the stars above. A content smile settled on his face. "They're absolutely beautiful." He murmured.

"Yeah they are." I wasn't speaking about the stars. His gaze turned to me and I knew he was blushing. I couldn't help it as I leaned over and kissed him. As I expected, he kissed back. It was full of love, and although we hadn't told each other those words yet, we both knew how the other felt. I pulled back and just drank in his features. I could stare at this boy all day. He was a work of art and I was so lucky he was mine."I love you"

"I love you too."

I close my eyes and see your face

Can feel the touch, can almost taste

Lie to myself that I'm okay

But the thought of you stops me

I guess I shouldn't have been surprised when divorce papers ended up on my doorstep. A month had passed and although I had become a functional member of society again, I still wasn't okay. This just reminded me that I wasn't okay. I thought I could do this, but I couldn't. The reality of never having Eren in my arms again hit me like a ton of bricks. There would be no making up. No fight that would lead to laughter as we came to the realization that we were being stupid. I would never be able to watch him sleep or hear him mutter I love you before sleep took him over. It was all crumbling down and i wasn't okay with that.

I still love you darling

With every inch of my heart

Even when I don't want to,

I still love you.

I still love you, darling

I live and die by your side

Even when you don't want to

I still love you

I still love you

I still love you.

I stared at the house I knew all too well. Memories full of love, laughter, and family ran through my head. I hadn't been here in a while and being here now, It felt like I didn't belong. With a shaky hand, I knocked on the wooden door. The door opened moments later and the surprise that crossed those brown eyes of my lover's mother had me almost breaking down. Carla Yeager gave me a warm smile. I wish she hated me. I didn't deserve her smile or welcoming hug. "He's in his old room." She said as she went back towards the kitchen. I got a glimpse of Mikasa. She didn't bother to hide the death glare.

The walk up to Eren's room was shorter than I remember. When we were dating, I could never get up here fast enough, now it was to short of a walk. Not enough time for me to process that I was about to see the love of my life again after a month of no communication. I stopped outside the door and took a deep breath. I could do this. I had to. I wasn't about to let him walk out of my life.


End file.
